I have a new roommate from Japan!

Her name is Tomo, short for Tomomi. She is a Japanese volunteer (JICA) who will be in Tonga for two years. It’s Japan’s equivalent to US Peace Corps. She is assigned to work on HIV/AIDS education with the youth office where I work.

The photo is of one of our many sleep overs. Tomo, Diane and Latai in Tomo's room.

I have learned a few things about Japan so far which I will share with you now.

Tomo is from Nagoya which is the third largest city in Japan, about 6 hours from Tokyo by car and 2 hours by bullet train. Wow, wouldn’t a bullet train from LA to SF be great? Tomo says it travels about 300 miles per hour at maximum speed. There are 125 million people in Japan. (300 million in the US) Tomo tells me there is some diversity in the major cities but nothing like what she hears about the US major cities. There is a Toyota factory near Nagoya where a lot of Brazilians and South Americans live near and work.

Anyway, I am going to have a good time learning a little bit of Japanese while with Tomo and together we will learn Tongan. I really enjoy these cultural exchanges, except for when they are annoying. But, I know this cultural exchange with Tomo will be very enjoyable.

The only thing weird thing that I have encountered so far from living with Tomo is the toilet seat sweater. I am not talking about the toilet lid, but the seat. It has a sweater on it. Different, but it is warm. I just never occurred to me to put something on the toilet seat to make it warm. I heard about heated toilet seats in Japan now I know from what those evolved.

“Where’s the Miko?”

One of my acquaintances here in Tonga up until today thought I was Mexican. Today he asked me why is my last name is Tui’one. He was surprised to hear that my dad is Tongan from Vava’u and was even more surprised when I told him my mom was Tongan also, from Kolofo’ou. He told me, “I thought you were a Miko. Whenever I don’t see you I ask, where’s the Miko?”

Tongan Mormon Culture annoys me.

I am just going to let that title sit for a second before I get into it.

The church is true. There is no doubt in my mind about that. Wherever in the world you are you find good people, members or non-members, just people.

There is that saying going around: The church is true but the people aren’t. Well, I am part of that people obviously. I am definitely not perfect, except for when I am. But, it gets under my skin, really, when some of my Tongan Mormon friends point out the most trivial “missteps” of mine to, I guess, show me that I am not a perfect Mormon or a perfect “Tongan Mormon” as I would say and to perpetuate the “Tongan Mormon” ways. They however are obviously perfect Mormons because they are schooling me in the ways. It is like the SLC Mormon culture with a Tongan twist which makes for a real annoying cup of herbal tea. Uh…yeah.

All I have to say, in a valley girl accent preferably is “can’t we all just” not judge each other? Especially if it is something trivial like watching a movie on Sunday, or heaven forbid, TV on Sunday. Don’t most movies have good wholesome morals to them anyway? We watched “Stomp It” on Sunday; great morals in that movie. Or another trivial thing to point out like singing a non-hymn song on Sunday. That one really annoyed me. I wasn’t singing about bumping and grinding by the way. Or buying bread on Sunday at 9pm. The bread here is so comforting, I feel so warm inside when I eat bread freshly made on Sunday. Sunday is coming to a close anyway and it’s like accepting bread from the neighbor (literally the bakery was my neighbor until I moved) to share with your Tongan Mormon guests in your house who come by and eat the bread you bought and scold you for buying it. [By the way, all stores and businesses close on Sunday here in Tonga. Everything is very quiet and peaceful. It is only the bakeries that open Sunday evenings. They become a hang out spot for some. I think of it as a nice gesture.]

ICE CREAM AND BREAD fakatonga

This is not me by the way. It's Peli.

Things I find ________________ about Tonga. Fill in the blank.

Things I find hilarious about Tonga:

I met a fella named Sydney and I noticed a tattoo on his arm. The tattoo is the name of his village, Kolomotu'a, and the numbers 213. 213 was my area code in Los Angeles and I suspected that the numbers had an LA influence. I asked Sydney what the numbers stood for and he said, "You know....Tupaki?" He is talking about Tupac. I thought it was funny. Anyway, we share music now. He also likes Selena.

How telling white lies is considered a Tongan tradition.

In the office, when I make a phone call to the Prime Minister's office and am put ON HOLD, the waiting music is "Ice Cream Truck" music.

You know the Britney Spears driving with baby in hand incident? It happens all the time in Tonga. It is normal.

Faka'uha. It means rain bath. 'Uha means rain. When it rains in Tonga, people and kids shower in the rain with soap. I haven't done it yet, but I am getting ready for the next down-pour. It is going to be fun.

If you do your laundry on Sunday!!! you have to hide in your house and hang your clothes to dry inside the house. Otherwise your village will talk and say you are a bad Christian for working on the Sabbath. I haven't done this myself, I just know people who have.


Things I love about Tonga:

The little kids. They are so cute when they speak Tongan and when they dress up with the traditional Tongan wear for special events.

The ice cream.

The singing.

The night sky.




Things I find annoying about Tonga:

The dogs.

When mosquitoes wake me up at night.

Pigs that dig humongous holes in our yard.

Very bad fuel exhast from many of the cars here. No regulation.

When people (parents, adults, older kids, grandparents) hit little kids for no reason which is all the time.

I ate dog last night

So, I was going to bed and the lights were off. It was 11pm. But, friends came over and they were kind enough to bring over some "puaka" for me. Puaka is pig in Tongan. This "puaka" was cooked in the umu. (Tongans roast pigs or cook them in the umu or underground oven.)

Anyway, my friends got me out of bed to have some "puaka". I wasn't really committed to sleeping and I am on my weight-gaining program and so I went to have some "puaka". Plus, they were so nice to have brought me food and I was grateful.

At the table I saw the meat and I thought to myself, I never saw a puaka that looked like the one they brought. They brought over a leg and other parts of the "puaka". But, the skin was really dark. It was almost black, but it wasn't burned. I never seen pig skin like that. (They brought over some mei also [breadfruit] to eat with the meat.)

So, I tried the meat. It was hard to tell that it wasn't puaka at first. When food is cooked in the umu, it has this taste to it. I will just call it the umu taste. Anyway, I was familiar with the umu taste but the meat was a little different. I suspected it was dog shortly after this but I didn't want to falsely accuse my friends, although I knew they were the type to play this kind of joke on me. I just kept tasting while my friends were feasting on the meat. The meat is tough and I don't really like it, but that is mostly because I suspected it was dog. There was barely any meat on the bones, which is not surprising to me at all. I have never seen a healthy looking dog in Tonga. They are all skin and bones pretty much.

Anyway, my friends and I had this silent conversation during the meal that consisted of a lot of laughing. Basically they knew that I knew, and without saying a word, the joke was exposed. They just kept asking for confirmation from me that I was eating and that I was enjoying the food. Later, when my friends were walking out the door to leave that night, they confirmed that it was dog just to have the last laugh. I was cool with it and I found it pretty hilarious more than gross. I was down with trying dog at least once while in Tonga.

But, I really hate Tongan dogs with a passion and I definitely do not enjoy eating Tongan dog and will not willingly eat one after this experience. Dogs are pests here. They are really annoying menaces. Just imagine a country where all dogs are filthy and ugly! strays. They are walking diseases. They just roam around, sometimes in packs, and they bark at me while I am riding my bike. They attack sometimes too and I always have to be ready to fly off my bike to defend myself and hope that a car doesn't get me first. I guess this is how it feels to be a Mormon missionary or a postman. Anyway, the dogs are also doing the nasty in public everywhere. Come on, get a room!

Anyway, it is mostly sad but it is hard for me to sympathize with the dogs in Tonga. I forgot about the funniest part of the night. All the left over dog meat and bones...we fed it to our dogs! Haha. And I swear after our dogs ate the dog meat, the look in their eyes changed. I was trying to interpret the look. It was like they thought I betrayed them, but that they also felt that they are helpless prisoners of a country where it is not in the culture to care for them properly and so they have to resort to eating their own kind. Faka'ofa.

A Weight Loss Plan that Works!

Move to a Developing Country!

I lost 20 lbs in 2 months!

I can't say that I felt very healthy during the last days of this run, but I am healthy now and have kept the weight off (although not entirely by choice.)

I am now on a weight-gaining program to gain at least one lb every month for the sole purpose that I don't lose more weight and disappear into the sand.

My morning routine illustrates why I lose weight and why I am healthier from my energy levels to my appearance. Instead of ordering a MC bacon and cheese sandwich from the drive through, or cooking my all-time favorite breakfast which includes on average 4 pieces of crispy bacon, two eggs and buttery toast or a steak with hash browns and A1 sause - I had a banana with peanut butter and watered down milk with Wheatbix (it's a NZ thing.) I also bike to and from work everyday which is about a 10 minute bike ride. (I also ride my bike everywhere to run errands, visit family and friends or go to church, basically every time I leave my house.) By the way, I cannot afford bacon here in Tonga. It comes down to a decision of bacon or soap? I am sure my roommate appreciates that I choose the latter.

Well, if you cannot make it to a developing country before your high school reunion or your wedding, you can always change a few things in your routine, or cut your food budget in half, or both. Since I hope that you and your family are healthy and happy and I know that 10 times out of 10 1/2, people want to lose weight - I encourage you all on your quests to get rid of your college flab or other flab and enjoy increased energy levels.

However, this developing country and weight loss idea doesn't work for everybody. Tonga has, and this is, I know, not a big shocker, made it to the top ten obese countries list -- also joined by the U.S. mind you.

ps. Check back for my Before and After photos